Monday 24 July 2006

The Power of Saying that You're Sorry

What stressful times we live in. We’re bombarded with information and choices at every turn. And because we’re so busy rushing from A to B we have no time to process what we’ve been given or even to make our selections. Too often we do seem to be simply going through the motions. And to top it all off, we’ve heard the refrain that we now have to do more with less.

Research suggests that stress levels are at record-breaking highs and that personal satisfaction is at an all-time low.

You might say that those are the perfect conditions for mistakes to be made. We’re either thinking about what we wish we were doing or how we’ve been aggrieved that we take our minds off what we are doing. And then BANG!

We are, of course, only human. And it’s not so much a question of if but rather of when we are going to make mistakes. And when compounded with the recent heat waves across the US and Europe, it’s no wonder that many of us are walking (or driving) pressure cookers just waiting to explode.

It’s a fact of life – sooner or later we are bound to say something that offends someone else. Perhaps you simply won’t be paying attention. Or perhaps it will be one of those mouth-engaged-before-brain sorts of scenarios. It could be that you’ll intentionally choose to be as harsh on another as you perceive life is being on you. And then there’s the ever-increasing likelihood that you’ll just be too busy to be nice.

The incidents of hurting the feelings of another are exacerbated by the challenges of modern living. We’re all guilty of it from time to time. And despite our best efforts to the contrary, we’ll be guilty of it again in the future. That’s just how it is.

Of course, in a perfect world we would always be polite and courteous and exercise sound judgement. But alas the world we live in is far from perfect. And so the question becomes how we handle our mistakes and our transgressions.

The first step is not, in fact, the most difficult. In my experience, the vast majority of people realise soon after the fact that they’ve acted in an inappropriate manner or at someone else’s expense. That’s actually the easy bit – appreciating that one’s done wrong. What to do about it (if anything) – now that’s the difficult decision.

This is something that all too often we simply choose to sweep under the carpet as if it never happened. I suppose we think that by admitting our mistakes and taking responsibility we will somehow give away our power.

On the contrary, the way to hold on to one’s power is to own up to one’s failings – with (and this is essential) a sincere and heart-felt apology. You might not be able to put things back as they were. But by saying that you’re sorry – and really meaning it – many wrongs can be undone. You see, there’s immense power in those two little words.

Elton John is right. In today’s society sorry does seem to be the hardest word. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Open your heart. And the next time you do something wrong or hurt someone else, say you’re sorry. You’ll not only form a stronger bond with your humanity, you might just form a closer connection with the other person. And perhaps most importantly, I cannot think of an instance when you should ever regret having used the S-word.

Happiness is always an option. But it’s up to you to choose it as a way of life!

If you are too close and can’t see the wood for the trees, then perhaps I could help. Have a look at my readings offerings or drop me a line and ask.

Over at PsychicBridges, I look at why we will do just about anything to avoid silence. And if silence really is golden, then why don’t we enjoy it? Read my article in full.

Happiness is always an option. But it’s up to you to choose it as a way of life!

I always welcome your thoughts and feedback on IntuitiveBridges, so let me hear from you by clicking here.

Until next week,

Kindest regards,

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