IntuitiveBridges - Alan Bridges

New Year’s celebrations around the world are simultaneously wonderful, wacky and sometimes a little bit weird. For example, here in Northern Spain we welcomed in 2007 by eating twelve grapes as the clock chimed twelve and then washed them down with sparkling cider. In England, someone runs outside and comes back in (via the front door) carrying coal (ideally), but more often than not bread, salt or money as our first-footer. In Switzerland, we used to let a drop of cream hit the floor to bring us luck. And in the US, it was all about eating black-eyed peas while watching the parades and football.

However, amongst all this variety one custom seems conspicuously ubiquitous – the New Year’s Resolution. As we say good-bye to one year and hello to another, it’s nearly impossible not to look back at what we did over the last twelve months, see ourselves as we are now and then wonder where we’re headed. Few of us are ever completely satisfied with the way things stand and so each year we commit ourselves to change.

But when was the last time that any of us actually stuck to the promises we made ourselves on the first day of the year? Losing weight is probably the most common. Putting out that last cigarette is a close second. Spending less and earning more is another popular one. Yet while our personal goal might be unique, the fact that more often than not we don’t achieve it is something many of us have in common.

So, what are we to do? Well, admitting defeat is certainly not the approach to adopt. We are all masters of our fate and we are the ones in control. And the first thing to do is to cut yourself some slack and create the possibility that this time will be different. Look forward, not back. The future’s bright if you believe it to be.

One of the most common excuses I hear is that “I couldn’t change because it was too hard.” This is a myth perpetuated by modern society. We are taught in direct and indirect ways that change is difficult – and that real change takes a very long time to bring about. Well, let’s debunk this myth straightaway. Change can happen in an instant. All you have to do is make up your mind that the way it was isn’t the way it is going to be. Yes, dear readers, that’s the secret. And believe it or not, that’s one of the most important life lessons you can ever learn.

Of course, many of us go full circle, change our minds and convince ourselves that the way it was wasn’t so bad after all. I’ve found that the reason most of us fall back into old patterns is because we bite off more than we are willing to chew. The way around this is to take change in small, manageable portions. Incremental changes are much more palatable.

Many of us are trying to break what we consider to be bad habits. This generally fails because we try to remove the pattern of behaviour without replacing it with something else. A more successful approach is to fight fire with fire. In other words, create a new habit for yourself. Don’t think about doing your new programme for the rest of your life, or even the rest of the year. Call it your 21-day regime. Studies have shown that if you do an activity for 21 consecutive days it cannot help but become a habit. And you then know how difficult that can be to break.

Willpower (or lack of it) is considered by many to be their Achilles’ heel when it comes to sticking to New Year’s Resolutions, but it needn’t be. In fact, willpower shouldn’t even come into play. All we have to do is to change our perspective. We use our willpower when we are trying NOT to do something. And we all know what happens when we are told NOT to do something. Human nature kicks in and it suddenly becomes all we can think about.

There’s a time and place for willpower. But it has no role in helping you with your New Year’s Resolutions. The tool to reach for is your imagination. The imagination is always stronger than the will. So, see yourself as the non-smoker or the thin person you can be. Picture it in your mind. Be that person. And if need be, fake it until, you’ve guessed it – it becomes a habit.

Perhaps most importantly, it’s crucial to remember that our thoughts have power – they are energy and they create our reality. In short, what we think about is what we attract in our lives. Think about food and cigarettes and food and cigarettes are what you’ll get more of. Avoid the negative. Don’t think in terms of losing weight or quitting smoking. Think rather about being slim and healthy. Positive thoughts create a positive reality.

We have all tried to change an aspect of ourselves or of our lives. And the New Year is when the majority of us who are contemplating change commit to it. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way too many of us never reach our goal. Just because you didn’t do it in the past doesn’t mean it’s beyond you. It simply means that you now have another opportunity to be the YOU you have always wanted to be.

Every day I work with my clients to help them live fuller, happier and healthier lives. If you’ve been struggling with bad habits, or repeating mistakes from your past, then let 2007 be the year that you choose a better way. And instead of just trying to cut out the negative, embrace change and do something positive – you could even start the New Year by signing up for one of my readings as your first positive step. Check out the full range here.

Finally, over at PsychicBridges I have the pleasure of introducing my Simple Truth Reading. It could change your life — FOREVER! Read all about it here.

I always welcome your thoughts and feedback on IntuitiveBridges, so let me hear from you by clicking here.

Until next week,

Kindest regards,